Review: Mixology

So I officially think that "Mixology" is the best show on earth. It feels like I'm watching my nights in action. For those not in the know, "Mixology" is a show about picking at the bar. One night, that goes for a few episodes. Its that night you had that time and you're retelling it to a buddy. It's a unique way to look at the bar scene and cannot hate on lines such as: "I'm not just some guy, I'm a man that wants to make sweet ass love to you."
The best part comes at the end when they are all trying to finalize their evening booties. "You gotta get the ice cream home before it melts" ....yes...they said what we are all thinking. By the end of the night you have worked so hard for that pick up and you need to recognize there is a small window of opportunity. I did not specify a time in my previous post  but the show pins it at 8 mins. You have to leave the venue in 8 minutes after agreeing to go home together....there you go...the window is 8 minutes.

Thanks Mixiology.

I wonder if there is enough material for a second season....

Single on a Saturday: Putting the pennies to use

So a friend of mine posted a very awesome slogan on facebook: 'In my old age I have decided that I'd rather surround myself with a few great people- I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.' I cannot stress how true this is. At 35 I look back at my "friends" and see what I have. Too many pennies. Way too many pennies. This is the problem with getting old- you see the amount of users in your life but are afraid that they are the only ones that will be there for the rest of this time so you stick with them.

I say fuck that. You can make friends in my many ways to meet your many needs. I might have discussed my man for all seasons concept. ..hmmm...looking back I did not. So that will be another edition.

Let's talk friends for all season. These are the people that are really just pennies. They will never be quarters because they are not good friends- just fine acquaintances. They will always be pennies.

They are the ones that make fun of you for being different, judge you for enjoying your life, put you down for working too much, stop talking to you when they get a boyfriend but always want you to be on their command. They make up shit to get out of hanging with you- no money, no time, was there yesterday...bullshit. All of these are excuses- if at 35 you have no money, get another job; if you have no time, manage it better; if you were there yesterday- you can go fuck yourself since you obviously did not invite me....pennies.

If its all about building personal connections- why have these people in your life? They are a seasonal need. Odds are that person saying they don't have money is full of shit. They will call you to go shopping because that is what they enjoy. Do it. Go shopping. That is what they are useful for. Do not put them on the list for trips, or galas. They will say they cannot afford that, but when you need an expensive shopping trip or cross border experience, they will be down. That is their season.

What about that ass hole friend who makes shitty mistakes, but always treats you like you're the stupid one. This douche is probably the one that wants a sidekick- I call them kibbles and bits after the dog food commercial. Not because they are dogs....but...well...maybe it should be because they are dogs. Really, its because they think they are the alpha dog. In their mind you are the tiny dog hopping about. In my mind they are only worth a penny.


Kibbles is probably the type of friend that has a bad attitude and spends a lot of time judging others. They'll turn you into a side kick when they are truly not better than you in any way.  This friend probably is great for boozing and socializing so that is their season. Don't call this ass hole for advice or support. Hell don't even tell them about your weekend....your contact should be limited to "Let's get drunk" "OK" No dinners, no roadies, none of that friendship calibre shit. Just git drunk!! Heck this isn't even your contraband friend....kibbles is too judgemental for that shit....You know the kind...
Booze is ok..everything else is not....even though booze is horribly harmful.

Once you have sectioned off kibbles you are probably left with the super penny....the one who will hang out with you when she/he is single...Oh yes. They go through that break up and demand your emotional support- after weeks of dealing with their childish shit you call them to hang out and they say they are too busy with whatever excuse. Then of course they post pics on facebook with them busy having dinner with the family of the boy they just met. Yes you might have known them for years and had a friendship that required you to be supportive. Then that fucker decides that you're not good enough so she gets a boyfriend and focuses all her time on him.

This friend is very much a penny....do not get confused. When they have downtime she will use you. I am not even sure what season this can go with. I would add them to the kibbles pile. Heck it might even be the same person!!

Except this bitch likes contraband.

Yes, she will call for a banging girls night out and you can bring all the treats. You gotta pay because this bitch will make the old "I don't do it often enough to buy it" deal. Its all good, just stuff you would have done any way on your own. Now you have company. That's all this person is--company.They are literally seasonal since they will only use you for occasional times out or just for your single gal stories.

Well that covers some of the pennies. I'll cover quarters another day...but remember:

Yup. I am a relationship counsellor...friends are relationships...and sometimes they are just not that into you...remember that.

"Rob Fording"

Well this man has ruined my city's reputation, but I gotta say he can party!!! For that, he can be a verb...

Rob Fording (v.)-ed -ing: to get messed up and be undignified at a club when you have a dignified job..... "I was 'Rob Fording' last night and I feel like shit today"; "We 'Rob Forded' at Ultra Fest, it was awesome!"

Wanna know how to Rob Ford- Check out  this article from the Star

Single on a Saturday and other blogs return this weekend....

Single on a Saturday: Freedom 35!!!

When selfies go bad @taolasvegas

As lay recovering from yesterday's drinking in the sun and last night's Tao experience, I'm wondering if I'm too old to having this kind of fun?.....bah...I'm doing it up in better ways...still almost getting kicked out of clubs...still grabbing at men's butts...still losing expensive lippy in party places..still good times. But now I do bottle service, wear hotter heels, carry fast flats and go hard because I can.
No longer that young party chick on budget, now that older party lady with savings to burn. Tao kept up the birthday eve fun. Sexy bouncers, awesome music, nice bottle service area..hot men galore...oddly enough no pick up...seems to be the thing in Vegas....still it was quite fun...I have 5 years to plan the next mega bday....and one year to plan the next trip to Vegas ;)

Single on a Saturday: Goodbye my little friend

Like watching a child go to
school for the first time

No, no one died.

I got rid of my XPole. The piece of equipment that I worked hard to get. After months of research, I saved up that $450 and ordered this lovely tool. Adjustable, removable, spinner….ahh…pole delight.

I kept it up in my other apartment and used it regularly. Then I moved and it never saw light again.

I needed to find it a good home and word of mouth spread. A trust worthy party place has now taken her on.  They get to dust her off and give her a good romp at the club. Perhaps we will hang out once again…but for now I am planning to pick up a membership at Brass Vixens to get my pole fill.

Stay tuned....Saturday Night Shenanigans return next weekend...My Vegas Easter Birthday!!

Single on a Saturday: Casual sex done right!

Picture it:

You spend the night at your house with a friend. Going through the wine..and whatever other contraband you enjoy..then comes bed time..pick whichever time works for you- 1am…7am…what ever. The rest is good. Ah yes…score to the single gal…or guy. That at home nookie is great. No worries about a cab or cover or waiting in line. No need to create a pick up plan. That friend is in your home. Drinking with you…and then you bed.

Then you get up. The other side is empty.

For the most part you breathe fresh air, happy that you didn’t have to kick anyone out…but then you hear the water. Perhaps it’s the shower…even better…it’s the kitchen sink. Your dishes are being washed!!!

You were not only graciously laid, you didn’t even have to clean up after last night. 

Seriously awesome.

This is not an anomaly. It is happening.  I highly doubt it’s a regular thing, but it’s a thing. I have had experiences, and I know others that have. Their regular casual booties might straighten up the living room, clean up after the binge and /or do the dishes. 

Finding out how often this happens could be a great research project...right now I'm just calling it  an extension to my previous edition on Booty Call Etiquette. I guess it can be referred to as the Morning After Etiquette....yes...genius. (I am coining phrases that might never catch on....pass them on..!!)

Morning after etiquette works in all situations but its nice when there is a regular visitor (perhaps someone in your little black book) that cares enough to clean up after themselves on their way out. It could be their way of not leaving any evidence behind or their way of saying thanks for the bed. Maybe it's just a thanks for the sex. Whatever the case may be, they know they are on your list and that small gesture bumps them up to the top.

 Plus, at this point, it is a beneficial friends situation-- you only hang out when you want to have sex with them. Friends-with- Benefits puts the friend part first. In this situation the benefits come first. You call each other when horny and you go to dinner or just chill and watch movies...basically there are activities and then there is sex. The sex is going to come no matter what-- but you do stuff together to get the date going like true friends. 

Getting back to it..since your friendship is based on decent good times that happen occasionally, cleaning up the morning after should become a standard. It's not like you're sneaking out and hoping not to wake the person. You're planning on seeing this person again at some point. Make them want you back and, for those on the other side, use the morning after etiquette to rate your little black book. 

When casual sex is done right--all the way to the method of exiting the situation--then the beneficial friendship takes on a whole new 'no-strings-attached' level....a positive move. Single folk its time to make this a thing!!

Spring Fever is on!!

March 20 marked the first day of spring and, of course, the onset of the best illness ever—SPRING FEVER!

What is spring fever? well it is a commonly known time of the year when everything mates. I mean everything…birds, dogs, cats, people, bears..etc. There is this vibe in the air that you might not realize but suddenly you feel like meeting and mingling. You feel more encouraged to try out your pick up technique….or at least develop a plan.

This is an actual researched thing. The overriding theory is that as the warmer weather makes people feel a little more sexual. Their libido is in gear and taking over.

Spring fever can be an out- of- the- blue act-- where someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, but really enjoyed, messages you out of the blue to catch up. You probably haven’t seen them since last spring, and did not care to meet up with them for the whole year, but now you need to go for drinks with this person and your damn happy they reconnected.

Perhaps you are the out- of- the- bluer and not the bluee. You were sitting around thinking about the great dick/BJ/ tight hole/etc and thought “I wonder what that person is up to now?” It didn’t matter before, but you gotta get on Facebook and give a poke.

Not sure if this is spring fever or if you genuinely want to hang out with this person?  You know its spring fever when its: 1) March-May, 2)You don’t care to see a picture,  3)You suddenly start salivating from your genitals for no good reason (this one is very much a female indicator).

Is Spring Fever a problem? I think this all depends. It is really about how you feel about sex. I like the idea of letting loose once in a while to help release some mighty delicious hormones and for relaxation. It is also quite nice to have that skin to skin contact. Not just for relaxation but to feel positive. You might also like getting close to that significant person in your life- sure you’re probably charging at them in the most horny way, but deep down you love them and are happy to make them your spring fever (and life) focus.

Of course if you’re a sex addict this could be the worst time of the year. Not enough people to sleep with and its hard to fight the power. At this point seek your support network (you should have a sponsor if this is an addiction you want to kick).

Otherwise, have fun with it. Remember fertility and Venereal Diseases do not take a break in spring...stay protected..unless of course fertility and VD interests you ;)

Check out: Spring Fever is Here, Self Magazine: http://www.self.com/blogs/flash/2011/04/spring-fever-is-here-how-to-bo.html