Don’t forget the fight

Well I did it this time. I allowed a status to create havoc in a social media account. It was quite amusing to see what was happening…oh, what about you ask..the new Ontario Health Curriculum for grades 1-8.

Source: Ottawa Citizen, http://ottawacitizen.com/opinion/columnists/reevely-conservatives-in-tizzy-over-ontarios-sex-ed-curriculum-but-miss-its-flaws

It was years in the making…but 20 years in the waiting and was held up 5 years ago……I can’t believe it was that long ago; I also cannot believe it was revived. I thought these things died when veto’d, but I’m glad it wasn’t.

I think it is a step in the right direction if we are trying to build a country where respect and dignity is for as many as possible…not just the loudest as possible…it also permits allowing children to know their anatomy at an age where it is not just a game to them. They can actually learn how they function…and that the parts have real names that are  as acceptable to say as nose or elbow….older than that is too late….they find it funny, and have already been tainted with the feeling that those parts are a dirty, bad word….or they have already been molested by someone that told them it was their secret pleasure toy…..the curriculum even has modern social media in mind…teaching about the risks of sending sexual message to people and the problems with meeting a new friend that you were talking to online…..

It is a  lot to take on...but 20 years is too long of a wait for a new curriculum....they could have eased their way into it over 10 years, but that should have happened 10 years ago. It is the story of making parents responsible for sexuality and sexual health education...and everything was just not progressing....

Just about everyone I know was excited for the change… but that is because I surround myself with sex positive people and professionals that have been dealing with the negative offshoots of a lacking curriculum in sexual health and education.

The banter on the news and radio was explosive. Some crazy divides-one side was basically emotional and the other was filled with angered logic..... I watched and kept up on my status posts…then I posted this publicly:

So I mentioned how media can influence curriculum and brought up the sex ed example....my students didn't know there was an issue, could not understand why people would protest the change and laughed out loud when I said that it had been delayed previously.....laughed....it reminded me that the curriculum was not designed for parents, it was designed for the health and safety of the students...students who have been learning the wrong things in the wrong places for a long time and really desire the proper information.

The Sexuality Wheel. Source: http://www.gdhr.wa.gov.au/

Who knew it would lead to a series of upsetting responses and passionate retorts from an acquaintance. It began with an insult to the students…

Acquaintance: There are reasons they don't get to vote until they are 18, if you asked them if they would like beer in the cafeteria they would say hell yeah to that too.

That was ignorant and dismissive of the intelligence of young people. An intentional insult in order to make himself seem smarter….so I responded…

Me: On this topic I trust my students in highschool more than a ** something year old with no connection to education or their life experiences. You are welcome to provide me with an itemized explanation of why you think the curriculum should be altered (using actual points from the curriculum and the current research on sexual activity), but you don't deal with the questions kids ask and you haven't had to explain to a 12 year old what chlamydia is and why they got it from sucking some 19 yr olds dick....so get off your high horse and start thinking about the real picture

And then the high horse became the crazy horse….there were a bunch of slams against the curriculum and a push to support parents that do not want their kids to know about anything until grade 9!!!  I retaliated with my blunt ways and then other people joined (I stopped looking at one point). He finally took the victim stance with:

Wow, all this because I was debating one single point of the curriculum, age appropriateness. The extrapolations are offensive. You've used ageism as an argument, sexism, homophobia and racist analogies and have now called me ignorant. If you expect tolerance, fairness and equity from society you better be prepared to give it.

I gave up…I just could not take the senseless support of a system that has been proven to not work. I could not take it anymore.I lashed out...angry and very offensive as well...

Honestly, you can call me what you want, say what you like and belittle my knowledge and the knowledge of the countless people that contributed to the curriculum (including religious representatives and parents) all you want. The big picture is the anti-new-sex-ed’ers had 5 years to prove that you can do a better job and failed. Review the reports on students that are of sexual and gender diversity (including the ones on coming out, suicide rates, bullying and safety issues plus the reasons why students do not ‘come out’ until after high school even though they know their orientation in elementary school) and if you still don’t understand why teaching different types of relationships starting early is an important start to a ripple effect then just watch the documentary Valentine Road and remember I associate this anti- same sex relationship teaching mentality with the people that supported what happened to Larry King and his teacher. Systemic homophobia. Like it or not…I don’t care.

BTW You clearly are denying your obviously offensive part in all of this conversation and taking the victim stance….That's ok, I expect it.

The whole situation was frustrating and got quite heated on both sides.  He is an educated man and I am sure he is a good parent and grand parent...this was not supposed to go this way!!

The worst part is that over the course of the night, I received texts “He’s gonna have a world starr moment if he’s not careful…”, “he’s an attention seeker”. ..”is this guy really this stupid”                  …I received PMs on facebook wondering how I know someone  that is so blatantly ignorant and what was up with him. 

It was hilarious madness…that’s the best way to put it. I responded from time to time with blunt honesty and supporting points…he doled out the victim stance while continuing to insult countless others…I naturally dropped the H-bomb (homophobia) and then was hit with the ‘I –have-gay-friends-so-I’m-not-a-homophobe stance’. I called him ignorant instead.

 he is the one that said he wasn’t homophobic and I am pro-choice ;-)

You’d think he was the most intelligent person ever. Pointing out that the curriculum was made by people that did not know what is age appropriate…people that study child development, have kids, work with kids…know kids…apparently did not know what was age appropriate.…….

He simply could not admit that this argument is not about not knowing what is age appropriate.… .it was about parents losing their power to decide what “facts” their children knew about sexuality and relationships…they lost the last power they thought they had over their kids—sexual knowledge.

Yup….that happened in this millennium. It might still be going on. I can’t even look at my homepage right now. It is filled with an ironically funny sadness.  I do accept my part in being less tactful, but I had to say something. It was painful and sad to hear.

I’m not taking the flack for this though….I had to allow this person to comment…I had to let him degrade intelligent people and insult hard work while defending archaic beliefs under the premise of protecting children……he had to happen…I needed my people see what was there….and this is what we are up against.

The collective We needs to remember that we had to fight….we had to fight for women to be considered humans that can make choices….we had to fight so that black people were not hung for looking at a white woman the wrong way….we had to fight to prevent people with disabilities and Indigenous status from being forcibly sterilized…we had to (and still have to fight) for proper access to mental and physical health services rural communities…..we will continue to fight for the rights of children including those from sexually and gender diverse backgrounds (their parents, them, others in their life).….the cause changes but the fight remains the same.

We have to fight for equitable human rights…sexual rights…..

This hierarchical thought process isn’t going away. There will always be people that think that the status quo is best and that others should just be subject their choices at all times (and those who disagree are insulting them and oppressing them). They have had the power and are now upset that they are losing it…..but we need to remember that they can build themselves up again and we might not be so lucky next time.

 

Some Resources:

• The 1998, 2010 Interim and 2015 Documents: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/elementary/health.html  
• New sex-ed curriculum under fire: http://www.torontosun.com/2015/02/23/new-sex-ed-curriculum-under-fire 
• Michael Coren: Why critics of Ontario’s new sex ed curriculum are wrong: http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02/26/michael-coren-why-critics-of-ontarios-new-sex-ed-curriculum-are-wrong/  
• Parents as First educators http://www.p-first.com/
• Protest Coverage Tues Feb 4: http://www.cp24.com/news/wynne-defends-revised-sex-ed-curriculum-amid-criticism-1.2251180
• 5 Myths And Facts About Ontario's Updated Sex Education Curriculum: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/karyn-pickles/ontario-sex-education-curriculum-update_b_6746012.html 
• Law allows parents to opt out their children from controversial Ontario sex-education curriculum http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02/23/law-allows-parents-to-opt-out-their-children-from-controversial-ontario-sex-education-curriculum/
•  Valentine Road: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2577990/  
• The Unslut Project: http://www.unslutproject.com/   
• Buying into Sexy: http://curio.ca/en/buying-into-sexy-the-sexing-up-of-tweens/s/988/

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Single on a Saturday: Putting the pennies to use

So a friend of mine posted a very awesome slogan on facebook: 'In my old age I have decided that I'd rather surround myself with a few great people- I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.' I cannot stress how true this is. At 35 I look back at my "friends" and see what I have. Too many pennies. Way too many pennies. This is the problem with getting old- you see the amount of users in your life but are afraid that they are the only ones that will be there for the rest of this time so you stick with them.

I say fuck that. You can make friends in my many ways to meet your many needs. I might have discussed my man for all seasons concept. ..hmmm...looking back I did not. So that will be another edition.

Let's talk friends for all season. These are the people that are really just pennies. They will never be quarters because they are not good friends- just fine acquaintances. They will always be pennies.

They are the ones that make fun of you for being different, judge you for enjoying your life, put you down for working too much, stop talking to you when they get a boyfriend but always want you to be on their command. They make up shit to get out of hanging with you- no money, no time, was there yesterday...bullshit. All of these are excuses- if at 35 you have no money, get another job; if you have no time, manage it better; if you were there yesterday- you can go fuck yourself since you obviously did not invite me....pennies.

If its all about building personal connections- why have these people in your life? They are a seasonal need. Odds are that person saying they don't have money is full of shit. They will call you to go shopping because that is what they enjoy. Do it. Go shopping. That is what they are useful for. Do not put them on the list for trips, or galas. They will say they cannot afford that, but when you need an expensive shopping trip or cross border experience, they will be down. That is their season.

What about that ass hole friend who makes shitty mistakes, but always treats you like you're the stupid one. This douche is probably the one that wants a sidekick- I call them kibbles and bits after the dog food commercial. Not because they are dogs....but...well...maybe it should be because they are dogs. Really, its because they think they are the alpha dog. In their mind you are the tiny dog hopping about. In my mind they are only worth a penny.


Kibbles is probably the type of friend that has a bad attitude and spends a lot of time judging others. They'll turn you into a side kick when they are truly not better than you in any way.  This friend probably is great for boozing and socializing so that is their season. Don't call this ass hole for advice or support. Hell don't even tell them about your weekend....your contact should be limited to "Let's get drunk" "OK" No dinners, no roadies, none of that friendship calibre shit. Just git drunk!! Heck this isn't even your contraband friend....kibbles is too judgemental for that shit....You know the kind...
Booze is ok..everything else is not....even though booze is horribly harmful.

Once you have sectioned off kibbles you are probably left with the super penny....the one who will hang out with you when she/he is single...Oh yes. They go through that break up and demand your emotional support- after weeks of dealing with their childish shit you call them to hang out and they say they are too busy with whatever excuse. Then of course they post pics on facebook with them busy having dinner with the family of the boy they just met. Yes you might have known them for years and had a friendship that required you to be supportive. Then that fucker decides that you're not good enough so she gets a boyfriend and focuses all her time on him.

This friend is very much a penny....do not get confused. When they have downtime she will use you. I am not even sure what season this can go with. I would add them to the kibbles pile. Heck it might even be the same person!!

Except this bitch likes contraband.

Yes, she will call for a banging girls night out and you can bring all the treats. You gotta pay because this bitch will make the old "I don't do it often enough to buy it" deal. Its all good, just stuff you would have done any way on your own. Now you have company. That's all this person is--company.They are literally seasonal since they will only use you for occasional times out or just for your single gal stories.

Well that covers some of the pennies. I'll cover quarters another day...but remember:

Yup. I am a relationship counsellor...friends are relationships...and sometimes they are just not that into you...remember that.

Single on a Saturday: Freedom 35!!!

When selfies go bad @taolasvegas

As lay recovering from yesterday's drinking in the sun and last night's Tao experience, I'm wondering if I'm too old to having this kind of fun?.....bah...I'm doing it up in better ways...still almost getting kicked out of clubs...still grabbing at men's butts...still losing expensive lippy in party places..still good times. But now I do bottle service, wear hotter heels, carry fast flats and go hard because I can.
No longer that young party chick on budget, now that older party lady with savings to burn. Tao kept up the birthday eve fun. Sexy bouncers, awesome music, nice bottle service area..hot men galore...oddly enough no pick up...seems to be the thing in Vegas....still it was quite fun...I have 5 years to plan the next mega bday....and one year to plan the next trip to Vegas ;)

Single in Vegas!!

So I have suspended Single on a Saturday for a little while...watch out for Single in Vegas!!! Check the twitter feed for the Single in Vegas updates!!! @MsNicolesBits