It's hard to party in a city that's shitty.

Ok so I’ve decided Toronto has become a very shitty pretentious city. Friday night I was

King West

having a conversation with some friends while walking down John St. to King west. Some ass stopped and interjected to correct us, but was not even on point with what we were talking about. That is the true sign of assholism. You can comment without being educated on a topic and you don’t care. Gaaaaa….

Even the service industry has fallen (but that has been on a steady shit decline since SARs). There was of course that jerk bartender at the Gladstone Hotel (the reason I don’t go in there at all and my friends know this so we make sure to avoid them).  Then there was a couple of nights ago at Bier Market where three bartenders decided that they were only going to service one end of one of the bars and do one drink at a time (a rookie mistake in the Toronto bar scene that seems to be happening everywhere).  I guess the night was too hard for them…Gaaaaa²

Seriously…it sickens me to think that this is the path the city is taking when it actually used to be a community and a place with character and manners…well a real Torontonian knows whose blame for the mega changes…rhymes with Ike Barris…..

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It's not new...

I re-started my pole dance classes this week. Good times at Brass Vixens, but its not about the socializing for me, I do it to stay in shape. I have been pole dancing/fitnessing for about 10 years. I have done it across two countries and been awarded for passes from level 1 to extreme. I have done performances live and Brass Vixens is my 5th studio. So I am not new to this.

What I am noticing though, now that I am back at a commercial studio—there are women who really act as if they discovered this poke thing. They show up to a beginner class to show off that they can do inverted moves. Really…seriously. If you have that skill you practice it during practice time or the appropriate class. You should not be doing it in a beginners class.

Only one teacher so far has requested no inverted's in beginner but that’s it.

 The issue with this is that it is a beginner class in an intimidating activity. Some women already feel out of shape or as if they do not belong, but want to feel sexy. That is why they are in the pole class. Having another student that clearly should not be allowed in a beginners class is a disrespect to them. It may taint their view on the studio or the whole idea of pole dancing.

That’s why I left Flirty Girl Fitness. Too many skinny bitches complaining that they are fat trying to out do each other passive aggressively. Nonsense. I am sure I have moves and routines that can dance circles around them. But once I get my strength back, I’m leaving beginners. It’s the right thing to do.

So I’m just gonna say: Pole dancing is a great way to get in shape and feel like a hottie, but bitches that cannot stop being the centre of attention or support other women are fucking the whole thing up. How nice would it be if women weren’t such haters.

I guess it is like a strip club.

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When the sex is pretentious....

I don’t know what is happening with guys these days. Before  I go further , I am not out to man bash…just bash idiot men. The ones who are so pretentious that you can hear their conceit from a mile away.   What are these guys thinking…oh wait..I know. They are thinking “I’m awesome and you’re lucky I’m a live”. Even the sex is pretentious. He is so into what he considers pleasuring you—it’s a weird combination of facial expressions, odd bendy moves and him grunting “that’s good right” …hahahahaha…no, it’s really not funny.  It’s actually kind of sad. There has been a rush to blame porn for giving them unrealistic ideas of what a good lay is.  I don’t blame porn though, I blame arrogance. And not the usual arrogance, but the kind of arrogance that makes you think you’re better than a porn star and know so much about what makes someone feel good that you don’t need to ask (or take instruction).  

It sickens me to think that women and men have been subjected to this and leave the situation under satisfied. The solution is simple. Stop that shit in progress. This does take confidence and the comfort knowing that your partner is not keep going.  but you could always finish unsatisfied and not call him again. Whatever your tactic, stick to it.  you’ll gradually become more assertive and these men will gradually learn that their options are limited when they are assholes. 

Besides, there is so much better stuff out there, why settle for pretentious sex.

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Single on a Saturday: Oh that Cats of Two..

I have finally recovered. Now let’s talk Saturday.

So 2CatsCocktail lounge was a favorite hotspot of mine many moons ago. I took a break from it for a few years. Then they renovated and once again my love for it has begun to flourish. I have mentioned it a few times in these blogs, but this time it needs its own space.

There is no bar that leads to memory loss as much as 2Cats has.  I wake up safely at 9am at home in my PJs, but I remember nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Sunday morning, as I was reconnecting with the party mates re:the night before, they both tossed around a new sort-of slogan: 2Cats is the blackhole of Toronto…You remember going in, but never coming out. Interesting. I keep saying we need a video camera or take more selfies, just to retrace the night.

Its always a good time at 2Cats and you just forget that you are drinking liquor. This is the place for social people. Even in its new expanded form it is crowded in all of the right spots. The dance floor is where you make it and everyone is ok with that. You’re always chatting to the people near you, smile as you push past the crowd to the bathroom. ..oh and the best part is that there is never a bathroom line!!!!! I think I would have just as much fun while sober there, but life’s a celebration filled with fine wine (and vodka). Good times had by all- the perfect recipe for forgetting.

When I look back I only stopped going because of the line up. Now I only go if it is a  pre-set destination (I will no longer bar hop on King West. Not worth the time waiting in lines). I go out earlier and get back home sooner….hahaha or so is the plan, but that never happens. I get there at 10:30 and still troll home at past 4am..I actually was walking out there carrying my shoes…Arctic Monkeys fans will get that one. I got in a cab and came home…

Or so I assume.

You can’t let those boobs go to waste

It's getting close to period time and you realize that you cannot get your gigantic boobs into your bra and they’re highly sensitive.

Do not waste this moment. Your boobs are actually bigger and will feel great with the right touch. Find out what that is. Perhaps, you like the smooth succulent lick or the tiny nibble…heehee. Whatever it is, have your partner try something out. Make use of that monthly agitation of having to roll your breasts into a bra that fit fine yesterday and is way too small today.

Remember to train him/her well…no squeezing. As Rebecca Rosenblath (Dr. Date ) stated “you should leave squeezing at the supermarket” (2000, p.26). Especially at this time; it is a fine line between pleasure and pain. It all depends on what sensitivity does to you and how much you can take. Heck, tickling can be painful for some people. Just gotta train your dragon ;)

Dr. Date. (2000). How to drive your lover wild with pleasure.Dr. Date Enterprises: Toronto, Canada

Single on a Saturday: Beards everywhere!!

So this was a long time coming…sorry. At any rate I reclaimed my weekends last week. I took off Saturday and began the fun on Friday! Let’s start with the fun time celebration at Prohibition Gashouse on Friday. Hooch hour is my new favourite thing to do after work. Too bad it is so far east. Well not so far if you live out there. It’s a nice place at Queen and Broadview and the hooch hour is awesome. You cannot beat Patron shots for $6!

The bar turns into a club-ish type place after 10pm, we didn’t stick around, but I hear it’s an awesome pickup joint. “Roz” (heehee…she knows who she is!) and I had to high tail it to the west.  

Here I’d like to intercept and say: Has anyone else noticed how many men are out in Toronto locals?  There was a mix, but predominantly male showing, at Prohibition,  after that we hit Eat My Martini. 

This place usually has a mix, but the women were mainly seated and men were all over the bar. Then we somehow ended up at Opera Bob’s (at this point we’re wondering around, just enjoying the night). There were a few women in here, but overall it was like the men came out in groups.

or is that heards….heards of men…does that sound right?....

Anyway there were heaps of them out and about at the bars.  Being social..and kinda flirty.  I think I can be ok with that, but I’m not ok with the beards. 

What the fuck is up with these fucking beards??!!! It’s like Movember never ended…it just kept growing…gahhh..aggggg

Some men can pull it off, some just look creepy or dirty or pompous…those are the only three other options—I think that the majority of men fall into one of these three categories. Maybe its that these guys just don’t know how to groom it…fine then,  try reviewing this fine article from Men’s Health  Try out the tips and see.

…but really most of you just need to look in the mirror and realize it is a big turn off…

It’s not winter, you do not need the weather protection. Get rid of that shit!

Especially if you plan on hanging out in crews of men with beards!!