Single on a Saturday: Putting the pennies to use

So a friend of mine posted a very awesome slogan on facebook: 'In my old age I have decided that I'd rather surround myself with a few great people- I'd rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.' I cannot stress how true this is. At 35 I look back at my "friends" and see what I have. Too many pennies. Way too many pennies. This is the problem with getting old- you see the amount of users in your life but are afraid that they are the only ones that will be there for the rest of this time so you stick with them.

I say fuck that. You can make friends in my many ways to meet your many needs. I might have discussed my man for all seasons concept. ..hmmm...looking back I did not. So that will be another edition.

Let's talk friends for all season. These are the people that are really just pennies. They will never be quarters because they are not good friends- just fine acquaintances. They will always be pennies.

They are the ones that make fun of you for being different, judge you for enjoying your life, put you down for working too much, stop talking to you when they get a boyfriend but always want you to be on their command. They make up shit to get out of hanging with you- no money, no time, was there yesterday...bullshit. All of these are excuses- if at 35 you have no money, get another job; if you have no time, manage it better; if you were there yesterday- you can go fuck yourself since you obviously did not invite me....pennies.

If its all about building personal connections- why have these people in your life? They are a seasonal need. Odds are that person saying they don't have money is full of shit. They will call you to go shopping because that is what they enjoy. Do it. Go shopping. That is what they are useful for. Do not put them on the list for trips, or galas. They will say they cannot afford that, but when you need an expensive shopping trip or cross border experience, they will be down. That is their season.

What about that ass hole friend who makes shitty mistakes, but always treats you like you're the stupid one. This douche is probably the one that wants a sidekick- I call them kibbles and bits after the dog food commercial. Not because they are dogs....but...well...maybe it should be because they are dogs. Really, its because they think they are the alpha dog. In their mind you are the tiny dog hopping about. In my mind they are only worth a penny.


Kibbles is probably the type of friend that has a bad attitude and spends a lot of time judging others. They'll turn you into a side kick when they are truly not better than you in any way.  This friend probably is great for boozing and socializing so that is their season. Don't call this ass hole for advice or support. Hell don't even tell them about your weekend....your contact should be limited to "Let's get drunk" "OK" No dinners, no roadies, none of that friendship calibre shit. Just git drunk!! Heck this isn't even your contraband friend....kibbles is too judgemental for that shit....You know the kind...
Booze is ok..everything else is not....even though booze is horribly harmful.

Once you have sectioned off kibbles you are probably left with the super penny....the one who will hang out with you when she/he is single...Oh yes. They go through that break up and demand your emotional support- after weeks of dealing with their childish shit you call them to hang out and they say they are too busy with whatever excuse. Then of course they post pics on facebook with them busy having dinner with the family of the boy they just met. Yes you might have known them for years and had a friendship that required you to be supportive. Then that fucker decides that you're not good enough so she gets a boyfriend and focuses all her time on him.

This friend is very much a penny....do not get confused. When they have downtime she will use you. I am not even sure what season this can go with. I would add them to the kibbles pile. Heck it might even be the same person!!

Except this bitch likes contraband.

Yes, she will call for a banging girls night out and you can bring all the treats. You gotta pay because this bitch will make the old "I don't do it often enough to buy it" deal. Its all good, just stuff you would have done any way on your own. Now you have company. That's all this person is--company.They are literally seasonal since they will only use you for occasional times out or just for your single gal stories.

Well that covers some of the pennies. I'll cover quarters another day...but remember:

Yup. I am a relationship counsellor...friends are relationships...and sometimes they are just not that into you...remember that.

Spring Fever is on!!

March 20 marked the first day of spring and, of course, the onset of the best illness ever—SPRING FEVER!

What is spring fever? well it is a commonly known time of the year when everything mates. I mean everything…birds, dogs, cats, people, bears..etc. There is this vibe in the air that you might not realize but suddenly you feel like meeting and mingling. You feel more encouraged to try out your pick up technique….or at least develop a plan.

This is an actual researched thing. The overriding theory is that as the warmer weather makes people feel a little more sexual. Their libido is in gear and taking over.

Spring fever can be an out- of- the- blue act-- where someone you haven’t spoken to in a while, but really enjoyed, messages you out of the blue to catch up. You probably haven’t seen them since last spring, and did not care to meet up with them for the whole year, but now you need to go for drinks with this person and your damn happy they reconnected.

Perhaps you are the out- of- the- bluer and not the bluee. You were sitting around thinking about the great dick/BJ/ tight hole/etc and thought “I wonder what that person is up to now?” It didn’t matter before, but you gotta get on Facebook and give a poke.

Not sure if this is spring fever or if you genuinely want to hang out with this person?  You know its spring fever when its: 1) March-May, 2)You don’t care to see a picture,  3)You suddenly start salivating from your genitals for no good reason (this one is very much a female indicator).

Is Spring Fever a problem? I think this all depends. It is really about how you feel about sex. I like the idea of letting loose once in a while to help release some mighty delicious hormones and for relaxation. It is also quite nice to have that skin to skin contact. Not just for relaxation but to feel positive. You might also like getting close to that significant person in your life- sure you’re probably charging at them in the most horny way, but deep down you love them and are happy to make them your spring fever (and life) focus.

Of course if you’re a sex addict this could be the worst time of the year. Not enough people to sleep with and its hard to fight the power. At this point seek your support network (you should have a sponsor if this is an addiction you want to kick).

Otherwise, have fun with it. Remember fertility and Venereal Diseases do not take a break in spring...stay protected..unless of course fertility and VD interests you ;)

Check out: Spring Fever is Here, Self Magazine: http://www.self.com/blogs/flash/2011/04/spring-fever-is-here-how-to-bo.html 

The New Prostitution

To start, give a listen to some or all of this podcast....its interesting. Then continue to my discussion...

Podcast: Sterilize Addicts 

 (~37min)

So the podcast starts by talking about the cost of child abuse in the United States and it costs more than they spend on education. This is interesting…I think the focus should be on how little is spent on education, but that is a story for another blog. Let us talk about this Barbara Harris.  The biological mother of 6 with 4 adopted black children of addicted mothers with her organization (CRACK) that intends to prevent child abuse…..or so she claims.

The claim is that you can end a cycle of neglect and abuse by preventing addicts from having children (she also wants to set up in Kenya to control people with AIDS so that a child does not have to live in that lifestyle). So she is bribing addicted women with drug money to give up their fertility. She buys their reproductive choice with $300 for getting sterilized and $200 for birth control. Plus there is a $50 referral fee if your friend goes along (I guess drug addicts prefer to  travel to the the sterilization clinic in pair). 

No rehab, no counselling….just a desperate woman being paid to do something to her body that she would not have done sober. Who knew saving children was all about buying off other people’s reproduction?! BTW, Medicaid pays for the actual procedure....

Even if you have become clean you were a drug addict so you should prevent yourself from getting pregnant anyway. Harris does not believe that reproduction is a right.

Harris' bus,Source:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/8071664/Drug-addict-sterilised-for-cash-but-can-Barbara-Harris-save-our-babies.html

Let's be honest, this mission is not about ending child abuse- it’s too simplistic of a response. It really is more about controlling the reproductive choices of women that Harris has determined are inferior to her. Face it, when women that are homeless and drug addicted get pregnant there are very few options for them. Heck, getting pregnant was most likely the result of their lack of life options. As well, more often than not, they are not allowed to keep their children and the babies are removed from their custody at birth. 

The other part of this is-- what about the healing time? Are they just sent back
home to their unsuitable lifestyle? What about infections? So many questions.

With the money that this group is putting into “eradicating child abuse” they could support a rehab and parenting centre so that these women can get a second a chance. Provide positive support rather than enable their habit.

But we all know this is not about eradicating child abuse. Child abusers do not always live on the street; they don’t always take drugs. When you expand your thinking you realize not all people that do drugs are child abusers. Some are great with children. Some have other supports and this helps them.

I think what outrages me more than everything else is that this is a process that is specifically designed to oppress women.

Men don’t have the option of being sterilized. What about the johns that take advantage of drug addicted women; the ones who give her $10 for bareback and don't pull out.?

What about those jerks that got her pregnant in the first place.

These assholes aren’t even being arrested. Now the women have another person using them for her own selfish superego. A woman nonetheless!

Now let us get back the whole idea of ending child abuse. How about we target the source of the abuse or the addiction? Or is that too complex and not enough of a television bite? I guess it would make people realize that there are several different environments that are not the ideal for raising a child. Or maybe Barbara just likes being in control of “crack whores”…does that make her a pimp?

Further information:

Is it legal to sterilize addicts: http://people.howstuffworks.com/is-it-legal-to-sterilize-addicts.htm

CRACK Uses Unethical Tactics to Stop Women with Substance Abuse Problems: http://www.cwpe.org/node/56