Single on a Saturday: Thursday and Beyond

Well here is the next chapter in what it means to be single in a world of  attached friends ...it actually begins with hanging with another single...

Lets take a step back to Thursday- It Ain't Easy at Sneaky Dee's. A pretty inexpesive party on Thursday night...with cheesy and old skool tunes. I had to call up the Roz to my Fraser for this party. That's right, two single gals sharing jokes on a Thursday night. I had work the next day so it wasn't a hardcore night, but it was still a blast. The music was awesome, the crowd was 20-30, and the pick up radars were on!!

Note to men- don't touch me or attempt any form of skin contact until you have met aome approval!  This would have to be my only complaint for the night, but maybe I should not complain. Maybe I should go along with the unsexy slurrs of a man with bad breath and hope for the best at the end of the night.

Nope. I was not interested. I was happy to just enjoy the night off of working...and doing cheesy dance moves to some S-Club tune that I would never hear on any other club night. Fun cheesy times....Thursday went well.

Saturday was hot. It begins with attending the High Society Cabaret at the Courthouse. A friend's beau was performing in this sexy burlesque with the ladies from DivaGirl Fitness. There were sequins and boobies and clothes on the floor. A wonderfully delicious way to spend a few hours.

Then it was off to Stone's Place on Queen Street. I gotta say it wasn't as busy as usual, but the sexy man factor was through the roof. I'm thinkkng and drooling, was it ever a sausagefest at Stone's this Sat!! Better eye candy than usual...and the right age. I find, though, that when I go out and party with my attached lady friends I tend to do more watching that flirting...I did do some talking...but I think it is something that I can work on the next time I go back to Stone's.  Note to self: reread book on flirting for test at Stone's next visit...

Oh what a weekend to be happy to be single...if it wasn't for work on Friday, Saturday and Monday I probably would have OD'd on good times.....thanks work...........

Celebrate WCD with Intense Sensation

So today marks another World Contraception Day. This day was set to make sure youth knew their birth control options, but it is a good idea for everyone to be thinking about contraception and the prevention of unwanted pregnancies.

There are many options available to women and men in Canada, but the easiest and least expensive would be condoms. These come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are ribbed while others have twisty patterns. They do not all fit the same- well not all penises (or penis toys) are the same.

When men feel that the condom is too tight, you gotta respect their sensitivities and give them something to work with. Many people turn to larger condoms like the Magnum from Trojan or multiple 54+mm options offered by Durex. Sometimes, however,  the whole condom does not have to be larger- just the head.

Visit Trojancondoms.com for more info

In those cases I recommend Trojan's Intense. So far it receives the most support from people that I have suggested it to. The condom shaft is a normal size, but the head is much larger. This provides greater comfort for men who feel that regular condoms are just too tight at the top. The looseness of the head material also adds to their sensation.

If these are too tight in the shaft then by all means get a larger condom, but if you just need a little head room then go for these. If the condom itself is too big you run the risk of having it fall off. Nobody likes that worry!!

Have a very happy World Contraception Day!

_____________________
Want to know more about contraceptive options in Canada? Check out sexualityandu.ca

More about World Contraception Day ca be found at: http://www.your-life.com/en/home/media-center/world-contraception-day/

BTW: no one has paid me for any posts on this site...although I am open to it!

After Tiller

Last spring during the annual Hot Docs Festival I was lucky to view the movie "After Tiller". Named after the famous Dr. George Tiller (murdered in 2009), it documents the life of doctors that do late term abortions and goes slightly into undersatnding their patients. No matter what side of the choice you are on, it cannot be denied that this movie is an eye opener.

Something that is not mentioned is that many Canadian women go to these clinics as well. Third trimester abortion doctors do not exist in Canada. Ontario has the highest limit at 24 weeks (6 months). Women that want/need to terminate a pregnancy after that (either out of medical necessity or mental health) will most likely find themselves having to go to the United States to one of the doctors in the documentary.  Sometimes they have the option of inducing contractions and birthing a still born. This all depends on timing and any medical issues.

The documentary does not go into detail about this, but it does point out some interesting stuggles for the doctors and the patients. Overall a very well filmed doc that I think should be viewed by anyone wanting to know more about late term abortions. It'll make you feel something- sad, happy, stressed...-something.

If you wanna see it, After Tiller will be at  Bloor Hot Docs Cinema on October 4, 2013.

A Little Nut Check

Men are important. Oddly enough they are very well known for not getting their health checks regularly. Although I encourage annual physicals for everyone, I also encourage people to do be aware of their health issues. So men this one is for you.

Check your nuts regularly!!! According to the Canadian Cancer society, testicular cancer hits men 15-29 more than any other cancer. So you gotta seriously fondle the jewels once in a while so you find the signs sooner. The sooner you detect issues the better off you are!! I'm all about making sure the men have healthy nuts- so here are the steps:

1.Find a warm...personal place. Shower is the best.
2. Feel around your bits ...heehee..ahem..I mean testicular area. Doesn't have to be too rough, you're just feeling for anything out of place.
3.No here is the important step--> If you feel any pain, lumpy bits, all around discomfort see a doctor.

Don't be ashamed- health is better than rotting nuts.

This video explains it all with a catchy tune.
Nutiquette: a dude's guy to checkin his balls (http://youtu.be/k3Cd2lvQlN4)

You can also visit the Canadian Cancer Society website for more info (www.cancer.ca)

Single on a Saturday: The Pilot

I'm convinced my expectations are too high for this city. Last night was just another edition in my disappointment with ways to spend a Saturday night. I love my friends, but I'm realizing that even the single ones have a different expectation of their night. I rarely have Saturdays off so when I do I can get things done during the day and go out like a free bird at night. This makes it important...I'm not interested in spending it running around looking for a party and I'm not satisfied with just simply leaving my home. This isn't high school. My 'rents aren't around irritating me so I can actually stay home or at least in my area. I live near pubs and entertainment....crawling distance from my bed.

That leads to another issue- if I have to travel (mainly on the transit) to go somewhere there better be something worth my time at the end of trip. Otherwise I could just walk to something in my area. I think this is what is going to happen.

Last night I was told there was a party I can crash in an area that is about a 45min trip away. This is where the miscommunication occurs....I hear party, I think dancing, drinks flirting...not chain pub north of the strip. So already the night has taken a sour turn. To make matters worse- its a birthday dinner for someone I don't know with 40 of her closest friends that I also did not know.

Don't get me wrong. I love wing places, I love UFC fights, I love all of that. But I was not set up for that....I was not interested in: not listening to music, sitting in a crowded corner where my chair gets pushed in every 10 mins, or putting on nice clothes to sit. It's uncomfortable and I do better with my eve just staying home...call a few people over....

But that is not what I was looking for. I did not care for the fight, I just wanted drinks and dancing in a mature atmosphere. And I didn't feel like hanging at home, hence going out. I needed a place to go and shake my booty.....preferably against someone...

We couldn't come up with one and the usual standbys were charging a cover...cover to get into what otherwise is a restaurant! So stupid. I think it is time for me to do my re-con before I start asking friends to come out on a Sat night. I have to find what I like and make it a suggestion.

hmm..maybe I should call this Solo on a Saturday....

Wonder-Rings

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An Unsexy Bit

So you ever wonder what happens to your facebook photos when you post them? Well they can be offered up to anyone that wants them. This issue has occured with a photo of Rehtaeh Parsons. For those that do not know. This teen was a victim of bullying after videos of her having sexual contact (while unable to consent) surfaced online. She was teased and then committed suicide.

Well a dating site was able to get a hold of her picture and use it in an ad.

Read:
Family outraged after Rehtaeh Parsons photo appears in dating ad on Facebook
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/09/17/family_outraged_after_rehtaeh_parsons_photo_appears_in_dating_ad_on_facebook.html

This is the utmost of bad taste and yet another edition in the story of the disrespect of a young woman.  Why have we as a society said that this is ok? If you're thinking you didn't say it was ok, you're wrong. The "it can't happen to me so i'm just going to let it slide" attitude is what led to her suicide in the first place. Get angry and let at least one person know that this is wrong!

Single on a Saturday: Prologue

Hahaha..I like making this sound like a show. I’ve been told that my life should be on camera, but I am not cool with that type of exposure…here’s the replacement. I’m calling it Single on a Saturday.

I’m not in my 20’s, but I do still enjoy going out and shaking my goods, coming home to/with someone and then moving on with my day. But I’m at that age now where this is illogical. My friends have significant others, ex-husbands, children, real careers or all of the above. What they enjoy has changed. Basically they have better things to do with their time than keep me entertained.Hell they have better things to do than hang out with me!

I knew it would change, and it was gradual. It starts with that old bullshit line “we should do something sometime” and, of course, sometime is not a real day of the week so it never happens.  Then they limit themselves to posting shit on facebook and assuming you’ll read it and feel connected to them. 

<Fuck you that does not help the need for company and fun.>

Saturday nights are now filled with invites to games nights and staying indoors hanging out with couples…even in the summer!! If I need to party I have to resort to younger friends that enjoy less refined places. Places that they can afford and, even though both of my jobs suck, I’d rather pay a little extra for a drink if it means I won’t get dysentery from the glass.

Let’s face it, going out is different now. Friends my age seem to want to sit around and eat with drinks and be in bed by 1am. The people I know are not interested in going to a night club and coming home when the sun comes up (Nuit Blanche is an exciting time for them). It can be nice to avoid the irritation of going out, but I can’t stay home every weekend.  

I guess the clubs are different anyway.....well they are actually the same and that is the issue. I started clubbing in this city when I was 14 and I'll be damned- dance clubs have not changed since then (just the names). Most have been shut down, but overall its shitty business as usual. I don’t want to get all dolled up with pretty shoes and then walk around on broken glass, dirty lemons and something sudsy that we all assume is beer.

Been there, done that..... I should be awarded a 20 year pin from the clubs of Toronto for voluntarily helping them stay open.

Coming home is different too. I used to pick up guys like pins on a magnet. But I just don’t feel like putting effort into it anymore. I think that I’ve been going out for long enough that it should just be delivered to my door by now. It’s the difference between being in an entry level position and having some seniority. But no, I’m still hustling a date and settling for breathers.   Breathers that toss coins at my window at 4am on a Sunday….but I guess that’s breathing and throwing- 2 qualities! I should feel special. And yes, that did happen.

I want to get out, find a place with a DJ that creates their beats (fuck all you assholes that just play mashups..its two songs that you played at the same time...not a feat) and dance like no one is watching even though everyone is.  And I want the crowd to be mature, well dressed and fun. And I want to meet guys to fill my black book, but I’m done with picking up the slurring idiot in a drunk stooper. Going online has led me to realize that even there I’m no good …. Someone saw my age and assumed I was a MILF. I guess I should be glad he thought I was fuckable….in the end I'm single and ok with it...I'm not ok with my girl parts in a drought, but thats no reason to get a boyfriend.

But I’m not giving in. I will not settle for the life I do not want- suburbs, kids, pretending that I like sitting in Martini bars not mingling, going home at 11pm because I’m too tired to party. Nope that shit is not happening…

The good scene is out there...and I'm going to look for it. Even if I have to go alone...

Stay tuned for the pilot episode and weekly editions starting next sunday!!

Female Morning Mini Wood

So one morning I woke up wondering if women realized that they get morning wood and what we should call it.

What is woman wood? Well I have decided that it is the moment in the morning when the clit is hard…I guess that’s the best way to put it. The clitoris is about 14inches long and it’s a wonderful sensory organ. It swells during arousal. Kind of like the penis..so I’m calling it wood..but it is not like regular wood, since most of it is internal, so it needs a new name.

Female morning mini wood is not a delightful term.

This is a big deal. In 1983 a bunch of scientists found that “we are able to confirm that females manifest cyclic episodes of vascular engorgement during REMPs equivalent to erections in men.”1 I’m still looking for an updated study that follows the methodology (larger scale would be nice), send any links my way.

The point is female and male nighttime and morning arousal patterns are the same. 

 

So this is real. And it needs its own name.

Some fun light and simple…like morning wood, but hip…and not too feminine

Nothing like “glowing petal” or that type of shit…

How about “morning glory”….

¹Fisher, Cohen, Schiavi, Davis, Furman, Ward, Edwards, Cunningham (1983) Patterns of female sexual arousal during sleep and waking: Vaginal thermo-conductance studies. Archives of Sexual Behavior, Volume 12, Issue 2, pp 97-122

No need to chug water....just orgasm

So if you're looking for a sure fire way to rid yourself of hiccups then find a way to get yourself to orgasm. Yes ORGASM!!!  Here is a pretty decent article on the subject. I know for a fact that it works with men, but unsure about ladies....anyone have input?

A hiccup cure that really works › Dr Karl's Great Moments In Science (ABC Science)

http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2012/09/04/3582324.htm

I'm not a cougar...I still like being wined and dined

So I've ventured back into the dating world. I had no reason to leave....well my standards were not being met so I decided to just stop looking. Then it hit me....nothing big, just the need to go out and enjoy some male company. But where do you look for fun these days? The clubs...its too loud to talk, but good enough to grind on someone when you're frisky; The bars....you can have a conversation with someone random...but they might not meet your standards; Through friends...this always ends badly since you cannot avoid the person later on; The Internet...oh yes the fabulousness of online dating.

Well I went with the online approach recently. I am pretty honest and, since my past experiences have proven that I cannot get what I want, I also lowered my  standards. So I basically opened my profile up to anyone...just to see whats out there.

A little ecard I made for the occasion

This is the common, most overwhelming response in its many forms- I like older women....I think older women are hot...Let a younger man show you what older men can't do...blah blah you're old...etc

Fuck you. I don't need to be reminded that I'm not young.

Who wants to be reminded that they are out of their prime??!!

Now..I mean...I'm not ashamed of my age, I don't look it...but I am 34 right now... and that is ok.

But we don't need to talk about it...it does not have to be in your pick up line...I'm not buying you a drink.

Do they think I'm supposed to be impressed that they ventured into the nether regions of Old Lady Ville...am I to jump in bed with them since they gave me a look while other men turned away from my haggard old ladyness...

Its really not a turn on..no matter how you try to pretty it up. Its all a part of the realization that I'm too old to be wined and impressed by older men...but too young to leave that life behind.

bah

Product Review: Lube

 Yup that's the name...LUBE...

I have tried and tested a lot of lubricating products in my life (and lets keep in mind most of that was working the sex shop circuit), but I had never come across this one until a few years ago. I was strolling through The Everything To Do With Sex Show and came across this booth- LUBE.

I like when companies are straight forward.

To refresh: lube is short for lubricant or lubricating jelly or similar. It is used during sex to help ease the pressure on the...well....the hole. Folks mainly use it in anal play since the anal area does not have any natural lubricating fluid, but there is also the dreaded dry vaginal play- painful on the vagina and the penis unless of course it is a toy. This happens for many reasons (long sex, no foreplay, menopause...) and some added lube helps ease the friction.

So getting back to this glorious product..

LUBE (by Triesco)

The bottle is simple, the name is simple ... it is a simple product.  Just as lube should be!

If you're sensitive to smells and tastes then this is for you. I find other lubes have this chemically smell and a sour taste..they usually make me sick...not this one. The taste is very mild... The smell is not bad either. You really can't smell it...unless you're one of those people with ultra sensitive nasal hairs.

It did not stain the sheets- which is important. You can get into a sloppy mess with this stuff and just wash your sheets to get rid of the evidence. I have used it on light and dark sheets..both with fine success.

What I like the best is that it lasts and does not turn into a sticky mess. It has a kind of greasy feel, but not actually greasy. Its smooth when it gets to the end and does not allow for late stage friction burn.
I tried to take a video that showed it off...this is the best:

I probably should have had my nails done before making that! Anyhow its best to see the product in person.  They usually have a table at The Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. Find them and try it out!!

tsk tsk young women

So have you ever sat and seriously talked sex to someone that you just want to smack because their knowledge about contraception is so dangerously stupid. You might not, but I do all the time. Recently I had someone passionately say that she could not understand how the patch worked and that it made no sense. Of course she was gigggling like a moron when she said it. To her the IUD made sense because it blocked pregnangy...wrong..and the pill made sense because it was a pill...semicorrect.

Honestly, stupid is never cute, and contraception stupid is annoying. Especially to me. I know someone else might have just giggled it off, but there are too many dumb women out there that I have no desire to give another a pat on the back.

Here is the low down ladies...and gents (you should get a handle on this too):

The Patch (Evra): This is a transdermal horomonal system that uses timed release methods to transfer medication to the bloodstream through the skin. Basically osmosis brings the medication to the body. This is why it can become ineffective if you are more than 98kg. Fat skin is not its friend. Its a great idea if you find taking pills regularly is a tough call mainly because it is a once a week method and you don't have to ingest it.

The IUD: This non-hormonal method uses copper to create an unwelcome environment for the spermies. Those assholes are always looking to puncture an egg as rests soundly in the fallopian tubes. The copper creates confusion and prevents their travel. It also prevents implantation of the fertilized egg. Back in the day women used pennies...see women used to be smart. If you have a moment of unprotected sex the IUD can be put in as an emergency contraceptive since it works right away. Not Diva cup friendly.

The IUS: I figure I'll add this in. It is not an IUD....it is an interuterine system....aka The Mirena. This is a horomonal method that uses progesterone only to alter a woman's body in order to make it difficult for fertilization and implantation. Also not Diva cup friendly.

I'm sure there is more I can add....but if this is the first time you've heard of birth control..or perhaps your knowledge is that of a 5th grade sex ed class then this is enough to digest. Here's an idea...look shit up...don't be an idiot.

FYI:  Try Sexualityandu.ca ....loads of wonderful information there if you're smart enough to click through links and actually take contraception seriously.

Lets talk HPV and Gardisil...

You do know it was approved as a vaccine for both males (9-26)and females (9-45), yet in Ontario people are having trouble having their boys vaccinated. The mass inoculation of girls in grade 8 during the 2007/2008 school year showed some support for the prevention of the spread of HPV. But I think it was kind of lop-sided. Why just the girls?  Why not boys as well? Men can carry and pass the virus. Yes, women can get cervical cancer and the push is to help prevent this, but why not try to prevent other cancers and warts as well? It only makes sense to make sure everyone is protected.

So perhaps its time to change the vaccination plan and add on the boys all across Canada.

PEI recently approved to expand the program to boys and Australia has been vaccinated boys and girls with great success. It is rumoured that they will be able to eradicate warts with their aggressive attack on HPV. Smart move I say.

This isn't about assuming young people are having sex, this is about assuming they eventually will and by that time it could be too late.  Proper sex education including condom negotiation skills and abstinence support is still needed, but the shot just makes sense in the reality of reproductive health.

FYI:
If you want to have the shot and you have medical coverage for prescriptions you might be able to have all three shots paid for. Beware that some insurance companies will not cover it for males. You will need to figure that out by calling your insurance company with the products DIN (drug information number on the package). Your doctor or pharmacist might be able to help you.

Further info:

+HPV Vaccine: Obstetricians and gynaecologists Group Calls For HPV Vaccine For Boys

  By Helen Branswell
  http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/04/25/hpv-vaccine-boys_n_3155724.html

+Immunization Strategies by Province
  http://www.hpvinfo.ca/parents/hpv-vaccination/hpv-immunization-strategies-by-province/