One Broad Abroad: Crafting Duchebagerry

So on Thursday I witnessed a situation at the Heart of Darkness  Craft Brewery here in Ho Chi Minh. A patron was shocked that the beer prices did not include taxes and brought that up a with the pseudo-manager. I call her the pseudo manager as she then went and tattled to a man who I'm guessing is the real manager. Before running to tell daddy/hubby/whoever about what happened she decides not to provide a basic customer service answer and tells the patron this is how it is done in Vietnam.....as if he has never lived here before and is too stupid to know how things are done. She also said that there are bigger problems in the world to worry about.

Interesting answer...shitty customer service begins

So the patron sits down at the the table...still clearly frustrated, but not with the taxes any more, just with the condescending way he was treated. Then this woman brings over the man in charge. He continues to be condescending and as they both stand there drinking their beers proceeds to tell the patron that this is how it goes because the Vietnamese do not understand pricing and will not buy the beer if the taxes were included. Right...this asshole goes on to say that other places include the tax because they do not brew on site.

Whatever buddy.

Now I'm used to patronising and condescending white people and have learnt to accept that they still do not understand their invisible knapsack. However,  I've also taught customer service for over 20 yrs and I was offended by this pompous pairs' approach. They could have simply said "ya sorry, but that is what our management prefers to do. Thanks for coming out though!"..but no. They needed to have the upper hand and seem smarter than customer (the woman even talked about the guy after he left as if he was worthless). Ridiculous.

Then it brought me to thinking about the new craft beer asshole manager system. The people that actually know the science behind the beer are not who I am referring to. I've met a lot of brew-masters and they are proud of their work and happy to talk about it with manners and glee.  I am referring to the assholes hired to manage the bottle shops and the restaurants. The ones who clearly think they are so special they can talk down to customers and give stupid answers to issues such as "this is how it is done around the world (or here)" ..when it is not ...or "there are bigger issues in the world to think about"... ya, because deflecting is a good idea....idiots.

I've experienced the same in Toronto. I remember going to Indie Ale House to eat and then buy a growler. The staff had no social skills. Well they had skills since they spent the time talking to each other and not the single lady eating at the bar. Then when I went to buy the growler the guy acted as if I was disturbing him in trying to find out about the beers they offered.

Needless to say I never went back. I turned the growler bottle into a vase.

These privileged, overconfident, know it all hipsters are worse in Vietnam. They are paid more than local staff, and treated like they belong on the first place podium looking down at losers. Its a new colonialism.  They do not have treat customers with respect because they are the kings of the castle. People have to come to their brewery because...well.. there aren't that many.....in their minds.   There are a lot of craft places here...and a lot of bars. People actually have choices.

Let's face it, there are only so many beer styles and the rest are just variations. There is nothing special about craft except that is it not mass produced in the way the main brews are, but those started as craft...all beer was craft beer at some point!!!

You're not special and the only thing that matters is how you connect with your patrons. That's it.

Oh well. I really liked going there. The last manager was cool guy, but he's moved on.  I guess I can connect with other places now. There are so many brewery's and bars to choose from. I don't have to give my money to jerks. (I was only at Heart for my friend's trivia night anyway).

The moral of the story: relationships are the important aspect of craft beer; the beer is just a beverage.

Don’t forget the fight

Well I did it this time. I allowed a status to create havoc in a social media account. It was quite amusing to see what was happening…oh, what about you ask..the new Ontario Health Curriculum for grades 1-8.

Source: Ottawa Citizen, http://ottawacitizen.com/opinion/columnists/reevely-conservatives-in-tizzy-over-ontarios-sex-ed-curriculum-but-miss-its-flaws

It was years in the making…but 20 years in the waiting and was held up 5 years ago……I can’t believe it was that long ago; I also cannot believe it was revived. I thought these things died when veto’d, but I’m glad it wasn’t.

I think it is a step in the right direction if we are trying to build a country where respect and dignity is for as many as possible…not just the loudest as possible…it also permits allowing children to know their anatomy at an age where it is not just a game to them. They can actually learn how they function…and that the parts have real names that are  as acceptable to say as nose or elbow….older than that is too late….they find it funny, and have already been tainted with the feeling that those parts are a dirty, bad word….or they have already been molested by someone that told them it was their secret pleasure toy…..the curriculum even has modern social media in mind…teaching about the risks of sending sexual message to people and the problems with meeting a new friend that you were talking to online…..

It is a  lot to take on...but 20 years is too long of a wait for a new curriculum....they could have eased their way into it over 10 years, but that should have happened 10 years ago. It is the story of making parents responsible for sexuality and sexual health education...and everything was just not progressing....

Just about everyone I know was excited for the change… but that is because I surround myself with sex positive people and professionals that have been dealing with the negative offshoots of a lacking curriculum in sexual health and education.

The banter on the news and radio was explosive. Some crazy divides-one side was basically emotional and the other was filled with angered logic..... I watched and kept up on my status posts…then I posted this publicly:

So I mentioned how media can influence curriculum and brought up the sex ed example....my students didn't know there was an issue, could not understand why people would protest the change and laughed out loud when I said that it had been delayed previously.....laughed....it reminded me that the curriculum was not designed for parents, it was designed for the health and safety of the students...students who have been learning the wrong things in the wrong places for a long time and really desire the proper information.

The Sexuality Wheel. Source: http://www.gdhr.wa.gov.au/

Who knew it would lead to a series of upsetting responses and passionate retorts from an acquaintance. It began with an insult to the students…

Acquaintance: There are reasons they don't get to vote until they are 18, if you asked them if they would like beer in the cafeteria they would say hell yeah to that too.

That was ignorant and dismissive of the intelligence of young people. An intentional insult in order to make himself seem smarter….so I responded…

Me: On this topic I trust my students in highschool more than a ** something year old with no connection to education or their life experiences. You are welcome to provide me with an itemized explanation of why you think the curriculum should be altered (using actual points from the curriculum and the current research on sexual activity), but you don't deal with the questions kids ask and you haven't had to explain to a 12 year old what chlamydia is and why they got it from sucking some 19 yr olds dick....so get off your high horse and start thinking about the real picture

And then the high horse became the crazy horse….there were a bunch of slams against the curriculum and a push to support parents that do not want their kids to know about anything until grade 9!!!  I retaliated with my blunt ways and then other people joined (I stopped looking at one point). He finally took the victim stance with:

Wow, all this because I was debating one single point of the curriculum, age appropriateness. The extrapolations are offensive. You've used ageism as an argument, sexism, homophobia and racist analogies and have now called me ignorant. If you expect tolerance, fairness and equity from society you better be prepared to give it.

I gave up…I just could not take the senseless support of a system that has been proven to not work. I could not take it anymore.I lashed out...angry and very offensive as well...

Honestly, you can call me what you want, say what you like and belittle my knowledge and the knowledge of the countless people that contributed to the curriculum (including religious representatives and parents) all you want. The big picture is the anti-new-sex-ed’ers had 5 years to prove that you can do a better job and failed. Review the reports on students that are of sexual and gender diversity (including the ones on coming out, suicide rates, bullying and safety issues plus the reasons why students do not ‘come out’ until after high school even though they know their orientation in elementary school) and if you still don’t understand why teaching different types of relationships starting early is an important start to a ripple effect then just watch the documentary Valentine Road and remember I associate this anti- same sex relationship teaching mentality with the people that supported what happened to Larry King and his teacher. Systemic homophobia. Like it or not…I don’t care.

BTW You clearly are denying your obviously offensive part in all of this conversation and taking the victim stance….That's ok, I expect it.

The whole situation was frustrating and got quite heated on both sides.  He is an educated man and I am sure he is a good parent and grand parent...this was not supposed to go this way!!

The worst part is that over the course of the night, I received texts “He’s gonna have a world starr moment if he’s not careful…”, “he’s an attention seeker”. ..”is this guy really this stupid”                  …I received PMs on facebook wondering how I know someone  that is so blatantly ignorant and what was up with him. 

It was hilarious madness…that’s the best way to put it. I responded from time to time with blunt honesty and supporting points…he doled out the victim stance while continuing to insult countless others…I naturally dropped the H-bomb (homophobia) and then was hit with the ‘I –have-gay-friends-so-I’m-not-a-homophobe stance’. I called him ignorant instead.

 he is the one that said he wasn’t homophobic and I am pro-choice ;-)

You’d think he was the most intelligent person ever. Pointing out that the curriculum was made by people that did not know what is age appropriate…people that study child development, have kids, work with kids…know kids…apparently did not know what was age appropriate.…….

He simply could not admit that this argument is not about not knowing what is age appropriate.… .it was about parents losing their power to decide what “facts” their children knew about sexuality and relationships…they lost the last power they thought they had over their kids—sexual knowledge.

Yup….that happened in this millennium. It might still be going on. I can’t even look at my homepage right now. It is filled with an ironically funny sadness.  I do accept my part in being less tactful, but I had to say something. It was painful and sad to hear.

I’m not taking the flack for this though….I had to allow this person to comment…I had to let him degrade intelligent people and insult hard work while defending archaic beliefs under the premise of protecting children……he had to happen…I needed my people see what was there….and this is what we are up against.

The collective We needs to remember that we had to fight….we had to fight for women to be considered humans that can make choices….we had to fight so that black people were not hung for looking at a white woman the wrong way….we had to fight to prevent people with disabilities and Indigenous status from being forcibly sterilized…we had to (and still have to fight) for proper access to mental and physical health services rural communities…..we will continue to fight for the rights of children including those from sexually and gender diverse backgrounds (their parents, them, others in their life).….the cause changes but the fight remains the same.

We have to fight for equitable human rights…sexual rights…..

This hierarchical thought process isn’t going away. There will always be people that think that the status quo is best and that others should just be subject their choices at all times (and those who disagree are insulting them and oppressing them). They have had the power and are now upset that they are losing it…..but we need to remember that they can build themselves up again and we might not be so lucky next time.

 

Some Resources:

• The 1998, 2010 Interim and 2015 Documents: http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/elementary/health.html  
• New sex-ed curriculum under fire: http://www.torontosun.com/2015/02/23/new-sex-ed-curriculum-under-fire 
• Michael Coren: Why critics of Ontario’s new sex ed curriculum are wrong: http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02/26/michael-coren-why-critics-of-ontarios-new-sex-ed-curriculum-are-wrong/  
• Parents as First educators http://www.p-first.com/
• Protest Coverage Tues Feb 4: http://www.cp24.com/news/wynne-defends-revised-sex-ed-curriculum-amid-criticism-1.2251180
• 5 Myths And Facts About Ontario's Updated Sex Education Curriculum: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/karyn-pickles/ontario-sex-education-curriculum-update_b_6746012.html 
• Law allows parents to opt out their children from controversial Ontario sex-education curriculum http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/02/23/law-allows-parents-to-opt-out-their-children-from-controversial-ontario-sex-education-curriculum/
•  Valentine Road: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2577990/  
• The Unslut Project: http://www.unslutproject.com/   
• Buying into Sexy: http://curio.ca/en/buying-into-sexy-the-sexing-up-of-tweens/s/988/

 Follow @MsNicolesBits

Single on a Saturday: 3 am is a booty call not a boyfriend

I can't listen to any more young women talk about the love of their life, whom they really only see after the bar closes. They don't party together, they don't go on dates, they just wait to hook up at the end of the night. Folks this is not a boyfriend/significant other/soul mate...this is some dude who did not get lucky and is now calling you to fill a void.

There is nothing wrong with having friends with benefits. Let's face it, those are often the best friends in times of hunger. But do not get them confused with a dedicated heart felt relationship. You should not expect any commitment from the booty call and this person is not a potential life partner. Hell, this person is just an extended one night stand and in a few weeks/months/sessions you won't even call to them...or they won't care to call you.

That is when you just have to let it slide. Do not cry over them or fill up their voice mail and email with your whiny nonsense. Just go out to the bar and find a new one. In fact you should have one already set to go and a back up in the wings!!

Now I can lay down some sex therapist psychobabble, but I think it is safe to say that if someone only wants to see when they did not luck out at the bar then they are not seeking you for a long term monogamous caring relationship. This is about fucking. Just look at what surrounds the 3am booty call:
1. This person has been out drinking all night..possibly for 6 hours or more
2. Last call is at 2am and typically at this time all the in club booty hook ups complete
3. They didn't call you to come out or meet while out...they waited to call you at 3am!

Sometimes you just have to be glad for the commitment free sex. If you are not, then you need to be honest with yourself and start hunting for someone that suits those needs. Make this year to evaluate what you want from a relationship and how you will make that happen. Remember that bars are a great place to meet all sorts of people, but you gotta stay focused on your goals!!

Looking to get over your hangups? Here is a suggested read:

He's Just Not That Into You: Greg Behrendt, ‎Liz Tuccillo - 2007

Single on a Saturday: A sexologist and a dancer walk in to a bar...

Yup, like some kind of joke where the punch line ends in something, something poutine. I went out with my friend Camille (a professional dancer, fresh from creating choreography) for a chance to release some steam on a dance floor.

Here is a little background on what we look for in a party place:

1. Dance floor/space with danceable music: Honestly, the place could be a cardboard box on the side of the road. If there is the possibility that we can get nuts on a dance floor  then there is a possibility we will be there. Dancing is very important for many of the points to follow.

2. The crowd is mature, but not stuffy: I don't want to go into a place where I am uncomfortable laughing or dancing wildly (see how the dance floor is important). As I have mentioned in previous posts I am not into girl fights over guys, overtly obnoxious drunkenness, that weird smell in corner spots and other gross seeding things that go in line with frat bars. Great for slumming on a pub night, but not for a regular thing. Then there are those ones where the music is played nice and low and if you sneeze everyone looks over...which falls in line with #3.

3. Not pretentious: I cannot go back to King West anymore. I loved it many years ago, but now it seems like everyone is trying to out-do everyone in some way and its not fun for me (I think I was one of those people at some point in my life). Plus the lines are insane for no good reason. That takes us to 4.

4. No Lines/ No Cover: This is a no brainer. I'm spending money in your establishment and you should not try to gouge me or make me wait. This goes for the bar as well. I don't mind paying for coat check, but cover is ridiculous. I think it is a general respect to your patrons to not charge them for buying your drinks.I also like when I do not have to wait too long for a drink. So it's always good to find a place where bartenders/servers can do multiple orders at time.

5. Ability to socialize: I'm going to use a word that I have always thought about...but did not have a word for: Butt Funnel...Thank you Jon Taffer. You see I always believed that bars should have a method for ensuring people have to mix and mingle. Squeezing past while saying "wow this place is packed tonight" or dancing closely and sharing in the fun of "their tune" all increases the social level in the bar. Creates a great atmosphere and builds that "Cheers" -esk loyalty to the bar. The place where you can meet people, even if only temporarily.

6. Good People: So an extension of #2, #3 and #5- it is imperative to have a crowd that likes to socialize. You look at someone and can chat them up. Maybe a booty booking or maybe just someone to talk to while your friend is on the dance floor or in the washroom.

7. Customer Service with manners: Heck its why I will not suggest The Gladstone for a drink. Look back into the Nuit Blah edition. I'm not asking to be treated like a princess, but I am saying: I show up to you with manners, respect me and my money enough to do the same.

I'm going to end the list here...I'm sure there are more to add but I should get on with the story.

Picture it, a rainy slushy night...heehee... Seriously, it was a horrible night for precipitation, but it was still not very cold out. I was able to wear a short skirt and long jacket; perfect Saturday attire. There were puddles all over, but I had on my reliable FMB's with fleece liners (sexy, but dry and warm).


The weather basically told us it was going to be a one stop only type of night. For us, all roads bring us to Brooklynn Bar. It hits all targets (except for its cover--which is only $5). The crowd is mature and clearly older. It has the right number of Butt Funnels (when you go check out the one by the main bar opposite the main entrance) for bumping and socializing. Maybe too many hipsters for my flavour, but the crowd is still a good one.

I guess I should also add there are good looking, average type men hand over fist in this place...that's why I suggest it to single/almost single ladies. Maybe I should have made that club checklist point #1- Men who dress decently and are safe to be around.

We did get weirdly hit on by two guys...one who called my friend an angry lesbian-- we think this was his ice breaker (sad)-- and one who had the brain of a goldfish--that's a whole other episode. We still had a good time.

I think the best part was getting home easily. Due to the weather, the cabs were all pretty free at 3am..quite unusual for Queen West. I avoided the usual "after club food scene" and headed home...it was still slushing (yes, not rain or snow....slush was coming out of the sky).

Well it was a great night overall...but time to cool the partying for a bit to work on some academia...sort of...ha! lets see how long this lasts...this time.

Single on a Saturday: Damn you day job

After last weekends mighty rush, I opted to stay home this time. I like how that sounds as though I made an adult choice...nope. I had to get work done. Until I make a  career out of this blog, I have to focus on my bread and butter--a job that I only slighty enjoy in a company that I am not sure I like at all....Well the cabin fever will set in soon and you'll get an amazing post when the animal gets released...until then...

Single on a Saturday: Doing Friday Night

I gotta say I prefer to go out and party after work on a Friday. I feel like I am accomplishing more when the weekend starts earlier. So let us go through the anatomy of a single girls Friday night.

Start the scene earlier in the week when a friend said our spa weekend away was no more. She then suggested that we at least get together on Friday. I agreed. Why not! Well fast forward to Friday when the plans took a turn for the worse. My friend was no longer into going out and, apparently, no one else wanted to either...but more on that fail shortly.

So I have it sturdy in my head that I am going out. No matter the temperature or the location. Unfortunately, it was the coldest night so far and everyone was staying in and cuddling up with a movie. Damn them, damn them. (shake a fist)

So I honestly message about 7 people that I know are always game for a good night. What comes in return. Multiple rejections and re-suggestions--- "you should call so-and-so" even though so-and-so just suggested them!   (once again shake a fist)

Being the single gal I am, I decided that I was going it alone. By 10pm I was ready and then came magical ding. A message from two friends that were on the hunt for a dance floor and wondering what I was up to. I thought they were out of town or busy doing other things. WONDERFUL!!

Off to King West I go. I hate partying there....fucking pretentious shit...but I needed a dance floor. Apparently, Toronto needs a dance floor!!!! Lets start with 2Cats...once a wonderful back up, now a non-option due to its immense line up before 11pm. So...think think think....what comes next...didn't want pub, wanted to dance....and the street corner discussion led to Croc Rock.

Hmm... I used to call that place crotch rock. Two reasons....the guy that grabbed my friend's crotch there that time; and the fact that everyone is trying to gyrate on someone else and get their crotch rocked.

I hadn't been there in years. I never really did like it. Perhaps I'm just getting trashy in my old age. I gave it a try and I enjoyed it. The music was awesome! I was a total sausagefest! Three drinks were less than $20! That's how I like it. Plus it was a nice mix of a crowd (25+). No prestige...just people getting drunk and dancing freely.

This one goes on the 'return to often' list....

So there are rules...

Yes I"m referring to that book that was blasted many years ago for being degrading to women. It told them to wear heels, and act like you're stupid...but, apparently, it works for those of us trying to snag a man....

I'm rereading it and plan on testing it out. I didn't buy this book...I don't think any one should buy this book. I obtained it from a book trade.  I gave up "It's Called a break up 'cause its broken" for "All the Rules"....I didn't know there was more than one book..turns out there are three and I have them all in one compact paperback.

When I started to read through it forthe second time, I accidentally flipped to rule #31: Don't tell your therapist that you are doing the rules. Oh boy...what kind of experiment have I gotten myself into...

Single on a Saturday: Cabin Fever!!!!!!!

So I decided that this weekend I'm going to work on my actual job. It was one of those sacrifices that I had to make. I don't like my day job very much. Well let me correct and specify- I don't like the technical and administrative bullshit that my job requires, but I like what I do. Unfortunately, its those things that I hate, that I tend to procrastinate on. So this weekend I had to catch up.

It was a good idea since it was the Sat before Halloween and that means you have to go all out in costume and such. That means more time spent fixing up. So it only made sense for me to lock myself away and do the bits that I needed to.

On the bright size I met with my producer (I'll just keep calling her Roz) and we're working out a plan to get the radio and magazine article angle. Then I can cut back on my day job...whooppeee!!!! That would give me time to focus on my writing.

I cannot keep having these kinds of worthless- stuck-at-home Saturdays!!! I'll always be single at that rate.

If it means anything I had some tasty delivery Sunday night....so I'm still satisfied ;)

Single on a Saturday: Thursday and Beyond

Well here is the next chapter in what it means to be single in a world of  attached friends ...it actually begins with hanging with another single...

Lets take a step back to Thursday- It Ain't Easy at Sneaky Dee's. A pretty inexpesive party on Thursday night...with cheesy and old skool tunes. I had to call up the Roz to my Fraser for this party. That's right, two single gals sharing jokes on a Thursday night. I had work the next day so it wasn't a hardcore night, but it was still a blast. The music was awesome, the crowd was 20-30, and the pick up radars were on!!

Note to men- don't touch me or attempt any form of skin contact until you have met aome approval!  This would have to be my only complaint for the night, but maybe I should not complain. Maybe I should go along with the unsexy slurrs of a man with bad breath and hope for the best at the end of the night.

Nope. I was not interested. I was happy to just enjoy the night off of working...and doing cheesy dance moves to some S-Club tune that I would never hear on any other club night. Fun cheesy times....Thursday went well.

Saturday was hot. It begins with attending the High Society Cabaret at the Courthouse. A friend's beau was performing in this sexy burlesque with the ladies from DivaGirl Fitness. There were sequins and boobies and clothes on the floor. A wonderfully delicious way to spend a few hours.

Then it was off to Stone's Place on Queen Street. I gotta say it wasn't as busy as usual, but the sexy man factor was through the roof. I'm thinkkng and drooling, was it ever a sausagefest at Stone's this Sat!! Better eye candy than usual...and the right age. I find, though, that when I go out and party with my attached lady friends I tend to do more watching that flirting...I did do some talking...but I think it is something that I can work on the next time I go back to Stone's.  Note to self: reread book on flirting for test at Stone's next visit...

Oh what a weekend to be happy to be single...if it wasn't for work on Friday, Saturday and Monday I probably would have OD'd on good times.....thanks work...........

After Tiller

Last spring during the annual Hot Docs Festival I was lucky to view the movie "After Tiller". Named after the famous Dr. George Tiller (murdered in 2009), it documents the life of doctors that do late term abortions and goes slightly into undersatnding their patients. No matter what side of the choice you are on, it cannot be denied that this movie is an eye opener.

Something that is not mentioned is that many Canadian women go to these clinics as well. Third trimester abortion doctors do not exist in Canada. Ontario has the highest limit at 24 weeks (6 months). Women that want/need to terminate a pregnancy after that (either out of medical necessity or mental health) will most likely find themselves having to go to the United States to one of the doctors in the documentary.  Sometimes they have the option of inducing contractions and birthing a still born. This all depends on timing and any medical issues.

The documentary does not go into detail about this, but it does point out some interesting stuggles for the doctors and the patients. Overall a very well filmed doc that I think should be viewed by anyone wanting to know more about late term abortions. It'll make you feel something- sad, happy, stressed...-something.

If you wanna see it, After Tiller will be at  Bloor Hot Docs Cinema on October 4, 2013.

Single on a Saturday: The Pilot

I'm convinced my expectations are too high for this city. Last night was just another edition in my disappointment with ways to spend a Saturday night. I love my friends, but I'm realizing that even the single ones have a different expectation of their night. I rarely have Saturdays off so when I do I can get things done during the day and go out like a free bird at night. This makes it important...I'm not interested in spending it running around looking for a party and I'm not satisfied with just simply leaving my home. This isn't high school. My 'rents aren't around irritating me so I can actually stay home or at least in my area. I live near pubs and entertainment....crawling distance from my bed.

That leads to another issue- if I have to travel (mainly on the transit) to go somewhere there better be something worth my time at the end of trip. Otherwise I could just walk to something in my area. I think this is what is going to happen.

Last night I was told there was a party I can crash in an area that is about a 45min trip away. This is where the miscommunication occurs....I hear party, I think dancing, drinks flirting...not chain pub north of the strip. So already the night has taken a sour turn. To make matters worse- its a birthday dinner for someone I don't know with 40 of her closest friends that I also did not know.

Don't get me wrong. I love wing places, I love UFC fights, I love all of that. But I was not set up for that....I was not interested in: not listening to music, sitting in a crowded corner where my chair gets pushed in every 10 mins, or putting on nice clothes to sit. It's uncomfortable and I do better with my eve just staying home...call a few people over....

But that is not what I was looking for. I did not care for the fight, I just wanted drinks and dancing in a mature atmosphere. And I didn't feel like hanging at home, hence going out. I needed a place to go and shake my booty.....preferably against someone...

We couldn't come up with one and the usual standbys were charging a cover...cover to get into what otherwise is a restaurant! So stupid. I think it is time for me to do my re-con before I start asking friends to come out on a Sat night. I have to find what I like and make it a suggestion.

hmm..maybe I should call this Solo on a Saturday....

An Unsexy Bit

So you ever wonder what happens to your facebook photos when you post them? Well they can be offered up to anyone that wants them. This issue has occured with a photo of Rehtaeh Parsons. For those that do not know. This teen was a victim of bullying after videos of her having sexual contact (while unable to consent) surfaced online. She was teased and then committed suicide.

Well a dating site was able to get a hold of her picture and use it in an ad.

Read:
Family outraged after Rehtaeh Parsons photo appears in dating ad on Facebook
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/09/17/family_outraged_after_rehtaeh_parsons_photo_appears_in_dating_ad_on_facebook.html

This is the utmost of bad taste and yet another edition in the story of the disrespect of a young woman.  Why have we as a society said that this is ok? If you're thinking you didn't say it was ok, you're wrong. The "it can't happen to me so i'm just going to let it slide" attitude is what led to her suicide in the first place. Get angry and let at least one person know that this is wrong!

Single on a Saturday: Prologue

Hahaha..I like making this sound like a show. I’ve been told that my life should be on camera, but I am not cool with that type of exposure…here’s the replacement. I’m calling it Single on a Saturday.

I’m not in my 20’s, but I do still enjoy going out and shaking my goods, coming home to/with someone and then moving on with my day. But I’m at that age now where this is illogical. My friends have significant others, ex-husbands, children, real careers or all of the above. What they enjoy has changed. Basically they have better things to do with their time than keep me entertained.Hell they have better things to do than hang out with me!

I knew it would change, and it was gradual. It starts with that old bullshit line “we should do something sometime” and, of course, sometime is not a real day of the week so it never happens.  Then they limit themselves to posting shit on facebook and assuming you’ll read it and feel connected to them. 

<Fuck you that does not help the need for company and fun.>

Saturday nights are now filled with invites to games nights and staying indoors hanging out with couples…even in the summer!! If I need to party I have to resort to younger friends that enjoy less refined places. Places that they can afford and, even though both of my jobs suck, I’d rather pay a little extra for a drink if it means I won’t get dysentery from the glass.

Let’s face it, going out is different now. Friends my age seem to want to sit around and eat with drinks and be in bed by 1am. The people I know are not interested in going to a night club and coming home when the sun comes up (Nuit Blanche is an exciting time for them). It can be nice to avoid the irritation of going out, but I can’t stay home every weekend.  

I guess the clubs are different anyway.....well they are actually the same and that is the issue. I started clubbing in this city when I was 14 and I'll be damned- dance clubs have not changed since then (just the names). Most have been shut down, but overall its shitty business as usual. I don’t want to get all dolled up with pretty shoes and then walk around on broken glass, dirty lemons and something sudsy that we all assume is beer.

Been there, done that..... I should be awarded a 20 year pin from the clubs of Toronto for voluntarily helping them stay open.

Coming home is different too. I used to pick up guys like pins on a magnet. But I just don’t feel like putting effort into it anymore. I think that I’ve been going out for long enough that it should just be delivered to my door by now. It’s the difference between being in an entry level position and having some seniority. But no, I’m still hustling a date and settling for breathers.   Breathers that toss coins at my window at 4am on a Sunday….but I guess that’s breathing and throwing- 2 qualities! I should feel special. And yes, that did happen.

I want to get out, find a place with a DJ that creates their beats (fuck all you assholes that just play mashups..its two songs that you played at the same time...not a feat) and dance like no one is watching even though everyone is.  And I want the crowd to be mature, well dressed and fun. And I want to meet guys to fill my black book, but I’m done with picking up the slurring idiot in a drunk stooper. Going online has led me to realize that even there I’m no good …. Someone saw my age and assumed I was a MILF. I guess I should be glad he thought I was fuckable….in the end I'm single and ok with it...I'm not ok with my girl parts in a drought, but thats no reason to get a boyfriend.

But I’m not giving in. I will not settle for the life I do not want- suburbs, kids, pretending that I like sitting in Martini bars not mingling, going home at 11pm because I’m too tired to party. Nope that shit is not happening…

The good scene is out there...and I'm going to look for it. Even if I have to go alone...

Stay tuned for the pilot episode and weekly editions starting next sunday!!