Single on a Saturday: Prologue

Hahaha..I like making this sound like a show. I’ve been told that my life should be on camera, but I am not cool with that type of exposure…here’s the replacement. I’m calling it Single on a Saturday.

I’m not in my 20’s, but I do still enjoy going out and shaking my goods, coming home to/with someone and then moving on with my day. But I’m at that age now where this is illogical. My friends have significant others, ex-husbands, children, real careers or all of the above. What they enjoy has changed. Basically they have better things to do with their time than keep me entertained.Hell they have better things to do than hang out with me!

I knew it would change, and it was gradual. It starts with that old bullshit line “we should do something sometime” and, of course, sometime is not a real day of the week so it never happens.  Then they limit themselves to posting shit on facebook and assuming you’ll read it and feel connected to them. 

<Fuck you that does not help the need for company and fun.>

Saturday nights are now filled with invites to games nights and staying indoors hanging out with couples…even in the summer!! If I need to party I have to resort to younger friends that enjoy less refined places. Places that they can afford and, even though both of my jobs suck, I’d rather pay a little extra for a drink if it means I won’t get dysentery from the glass.

Let’s face it, going out is different now. Friends my age seem to want to sit around and eat with drinks and be in bed by 1am. The people I know are not interested in going to a night club and coming home when the sun comes up (Nuit Blanche is an exciting time for them). It can be nice to avoid the irritation of going out, but I can’t stay home every weekend.  

I guess the clubs are different anyway.....well they are actually the same and that is the issue. I started clubbing in this city when I was 14 and I'll be damned- dance clubs have not changed since then (just the names). Most have been shut down, but overall its shitty business as usual. I don’t want to get all dolled up with pretty shoes and then walk around on broken glass, dirty lemons and something sudsy that we all assume is beer.

Been there, done that..... I should be awarded a 20 year pin from the clubs of Toronto for voluntarily helping them stay open.

Coming home is different too. I used to pick up guys like pins on a magnet. But I just don’t feel like putting effort into it anymore. I think that I’ve been going out for long enough that it should just be delivered to my door by now. It’s the difference between being in an entry level position and having some seniority. But no, I’m still hustling a date and settling for breathers.   Breathers that toss coins at my window at 4am on a Sunday….but I guess that’s breathing and throwing- 2 qualities! I should feel special. And yes, that did happen.

I want to get out, find a place with a DJ that creates their beats (fuck all you assholes that just play mashups..its two songs that you played at the same time...not a feat) and dance like no one is watching even though everyone is.  And I want the crowd to be mature, well dressed and fun. And I want to meet guys to fill my black book, but I’m done with picking up the slurring idiot in a drunk stooper. Going online has led me to realize that even there I’m no good …. Someone saw my age and assumed I was a MILF. I guess I should be glad he thought I was fuckable….in the end I'm single and ok with it...I'm not ok with my girl parts in a drought, but thats no reason to get a boyfriend.

But I’m not giving in. I will not settle for the life I do not want- suburbs, kids, pretending that I like sitting in Martini bars not mingling, going home at 11pm because I’m too tired to party. Nope that shit is not happening…

The good scene is out there...and I'm going to look for it. Even if I have to go alone...

Stay tuned for the pilot episode and weekly editions starting next sunday!!

I'm not a cougar...I still like being wined and dined

So I've ventured back into the dating world. I had no reason to leave....well my standards were not being met so I decided to just stop looking. Then it hit me....nothing big, just the need to go out and enjoy some male company. But where do you look for fun these days? The clubs...its too loud to talk, but good enough to grind on someone when you're frisky; The bars....you can have a conversation with someone random...but they might not meet your standards; Through friends...this always ends badly since you cannot avoid the person later on; The Internet...oh yes the fabulousness of online dating.

Well I went with the online approach recently. I am pretty honest and, since my past experiences have proven that I cannot get what I want, I also lowered my  standards. So I basically opened my profile up to anyone...just to see whats out there.

A little ecard I made for the occasion

This is the common, most overwhelming response in its many forms- I like older women....I think older women are hot...Let a younger man show you what older men can't do...blah blah you're old...etc

Fuck you. I don't need to be reminded that I'm not young.

Who wants to be reminded that they are out of their prime??!!

Now..I mean...I'm not ashamed of my age, I don't look it...but I am 34 right now... and that is ok.

But we don't need to talk about it...it does not have to be in your pick up line...I'm not buying you a drink.

Do they think I'm supposed to be impressed that they ventured into the nether regions of Old Lady Ville...am I to jump in bed with them since they gave me a look while other men turned away from my haggard old ladyness...

Its really not a turn on..no matter how you try to pretty it up. Its all a part of the realization that I'm too old to be wined and impressed by older men...but too young to leave that life behind.

bah

If TV was real life...

Ok it’s been a while since I posted. Life got in the way, but it is time for me to make this a priority. I’ll start lightly and comment on something that came up on TV. I was watching mistresses and the Savi character decided that because she and her husband were not getting along she’d fuck some dude at her office. Then she became pregnant. Seriously folks it’s 2013 and this is still a plot line?! What does this say about sexual protection in the new millennium? Should she have not been using condoms or some other type of method? Oddly enough, I guess we could have all seen this coming. It is the only way for an affair to build drama on TV—well if the writers are lame and like repeating soap opera plots. Deep down I kind of hope that one of these characters gets some kind of wretched disease so that folks can start taking sex seriously. Maybe a new kind of UTI that instantly causes uncontrollable burning that cannot be cured. OR they find out that they have genital warts and must get repeated laser treatments…

Savi’s husband gave her an ultimatum- if it’s not his she can have an abortion or lose him. Of course she takes the more “noble” route and says she’s keeping it anyway. Really…how abstinence- only- sex- education of her…she fucks up and she’s the better person because she refuses to abort. Nonsense. She should just admit that the marriage meant nothing to her- she just wanted a baby and since he couldn’t give it to her she will now make him suffer. Bah.. I hate being addicted to crappy TV!