Ah .. I get it...and it sucks

Ok..so I get it now…remember when I discussed the advanced dancers in my beginner 1 pole class (check this link)? Well now I understand their pain. The pain of ‘the hottie that wants to be in advanced but still needs to build her strength in beginner 2 but only beginner 1 is available.’

Yup, that’s a thing now. I stand in the back corner hating every minute…hoping the instructor just ignores my irritated presence…..worst part is that it is the only pole class available to me…I don’t get a workout and sometimes I have to share a pole. I hate it. I’m miserable.

 I did not come to meet people and share life stories. I came to dance. I’ve sent emails and the Vixens have made it clear that I just gotta wait and hope….plus I cannot transfer the membership. Fine. Understandable. But I am wasting time…it’s not even the money…it’s the time. I’m not going to grow at all in beginner 1. That shit is for people who need to dip their feet in the pole water.

I like to jump right the fuck in….

I need a beginner 2 class…someplace to build my strength, learn some new moves and just dance it out….oh but wait....to do that I have to leave work early, or get up at 10 am on my only day off….fuck that shit.

Of course there are other classes- Pilate's, Chair dance, flex stuff, aerials…great…but that is what is filling my schedule and none of that has me dancing on a pole…...letting my sexy out on a safe, glass free dance floor….and, let’s face it, you can get that shit free from the Internet! I’m not paying $100 a month for that.

I guess I just need to turn my storage area into a studio…hmm….Dear Santa…..

In the meantime, any know of a pole studio that allows for a mostly pole schedule?!


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Sex on a first date

Someone sent this across my way:

Why You Should Always Have Sex on a First Date

Awesome article!! The main thing to take in is that if you are sacrificing having sex with someone for the sake of looking pure then you might be wasting your time. I read "The Rules" and even attempted to follow them, but I could not. I cannot be that lady.

Sex itself is a healthy thing for the body. It hopefully leads to an orgasm or a rush of body chemicals the ends up with you feeling elated and tired. Assuming it goes well and there aren't any medical/other issues involved.

If you want technical reasons then look up these lovely chemicals:
Oxytocin: This is a hormone that the body releases during orgasm. This releases endorphins and brings a sense of elation to the body. It makes you happy.
Prolactin: A hormone mainly linked to lactation (breast feeding)
Dopamine: Another (blessed) side effect of orgasm, dopamine is a hormone released 

Of course there is the emotional side of things. The skin to skin contact can be comforting and being with someone might make you feel closer to them (or just feel good for the sake of feeling good).

All of these things are not great excuses for pressuring someone to have sex on a first date...they are just positive rationalizations. Now.... things can get iffy.

Some people see sex as a way to solidify a relationship. Sex on a first date is probably not a good idea in this situation. The first date may be the last and the sex was not intended as a connection. Then there are those who have sex addictions- a real issue. This might cause someone to have sex on a first date for no reason and then feel like shit afterwards. That is also a bad idea. There are also people that have difficulty coming to orgasm or have pain during sex (such as vaginismus). Also hard times for sex on a first date. These situations require a lot more from a partner than a quick meeting can provide.

Overall, sex on a first date can be great thing, but should not bea pressure. Do what what you're most comfortable with and do it safely.....and if you like it--do it often.


Sources:
Cool article in Chatelaine (and there is mention of Beverly Whipple, an awesome sexual scientist): http://www.chatelaine.com/health/sex-and-relationships/more-sex-is-the-secret-to-a-longer-healthier-life/
Video:http://youtu.be/sSOFtSG6nDo

The Case of the Bad Kiss

I'm just going to lay it out for you- bad kissing is a turn off. Now I will accept that the measure of good kissing is a personal taste. I will say that when my taste is not satisfied it is a real turn off.
What is bad kissing? What kind of kiss can take you from wet to dry? Well here are some signs to look out for:

1) My nose is in your mouth...I don't want to smell your spit or be blow your gum out of my nostril. My lips , as big as they are, are located in a normal part of my body-outside of my nose.

2) Your nose is in my mouth...that's just gross.

3)  I make that squirmy squished face look that people give when they smell something bad..this mainly occurs because I am overwhelmed with trying to figure out what the hell you're doing with your tongue and why you've decided to do it.

4) You treat my lips like some kind of chewy candy...I'm going to let you know my lips are made of people. Yup a human being is the material. Not sugar or caramel...I'm not really chocolate and I do not appreciate you trying to make what should be a fun and passionate thing into 'fun times at Willy Wonka's'!

5) I'm distant....hell I sat there thinking about the kissing rules while trapped in a deranged spit swap under some bad kisser. Yes gentlemen your partner could be thinking of those things just to get through the moment. Quite possibly he/she is waiting and wishing you'd be over or move to another part of the body. Your partner might be planning the shopping list, sorting out some stumping tax question, or thinking "who am I calling after to fix this mess".

I think these five areas are good start in understanding when you are doing it wrong, but how do you make it right?

Well its simple- you can ask your partner or you can just figure that the kiss isn't all about you. Sure you might like jamming your spit enthralled tongue into someone else's mouth, but they might not and you should consider easing into that shit.

Or when you are licking parts of the body that are not my mouth rinse you mouth out first- I don't eat myself out for a reason and it has nothing to do with flexibility.

Kissing should enhance the passion and can be very decent for play. It should involve the whole body and make a person want the other person more. I should not involve me trying to avoid having my upper lip swallowed while my bottom lip avoids nasty stubble.

Take note and practice your methods- because I won't usually tell you that you've done it wrong...I just won't contact you ever again...All you've done is helped the back up guy become the first call... until of course I remember why he was the back up..then I just get a new front runner...but its still not going to be you.

Check out this article from Marie Claire- It let me know that I'm not the only one thinking this!!!
http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/bad-kiss-mistakes

Do a little dance...make a little love

I've used the sexy arts to get fit and they work. I have been pole dancing/fitness....ing for over 7years (on and off-->currently off and going back); I have taken muliple hoop classes, participated in two levels of an arials course and let my body be toned in multiple flex fitness classes. All a good idea. I have a hard time getting into shape. The regular routines bore me so the more fun and challenging it is, the harder I work at it. The results come within four weeks (at about 2-3 hours a week).  Its well worth the pain in places you never knew could hurt.

Here's an article that was sent my way:

Q: Does hula hooping count as exercise? A: http://t.co/QhSwreGGHb
— Women's Health Mag (@WomensHealthMag) October 4, 2013