Sex on a first date

Someone sent this across my way:

Why You Should Always Have Sex on a First Date

Awesome article!! The main thing to take in is that if you are sacrificing having sex with someone for the sake of looking pure then you might be wasting your time. I read "The Rules" and even attempted to follow them, but I could not. I cannot be that lady.

Sex itself is a healthy thing for the body. It hopefully leads to an orgasm or a rush of body chemicals the ends up with you feeling elated and tired. Assuming it goes well and there aren't any medical/other issues involved.

If you want technical reasons then look up these lovely chemicals:
Oxytocin: This is a hormone that the body releases during orgasm. This releases endorphins and brings a sense of elation to the body. It makes you happy.
Prolactin: A hormone mainly linked to lactation (breast feeding)
Dopamine: Another (blessed) side effect of orgasm, dopamine is a hormone released 

Of course there is the emotional side of things. The skin to skin contact can be comforting and being with someone might make you feel closer to them (or just feel good for the sake of feeling good).

All of these things are not great excuses for pressuring someone to have sex on a first date...they are just positive rationalizations. Now.... things can get iffy.

Some people see sex as a way to solidify a relationship. Sex on a first date is probably not a good idea in this situation. The first date may be the last and the sex was not intended as a connection. Then there are those who have sex addictions- a real issue. This might cause someone to have sex on a first date for no reason and then feel like shit afterwards. That is also a bad idea. There are also people that have difficulty coming to orgasm or have pain during sex (such as vaginismus). Also hard times for sex on a first date. These situations require a lot more from a partner than a quick meeting can provide.

Overall, sex on a first date can be great thing, but should not bea pressure. Do what what you're most comfortable with and do it safely.....and if you like it--do it often.


Sources:
Cool article in Chatelaine (and there is mention of Beverly Whipple, an awesome sexual scientist): http://www.chatelaine.com/health/sex-and-relationships/more-sex-is-the-secret-to-a-longer-healthier-life/
Video:http://youtu.be/sSOFtSG6nDo

An app for that

Oh yes the gracious fertility app.  I was a bit of a skeptic at first. I work in sexual health education and counselling and I feel as though the app forces women to put their faith in technology not learn what they need to know about tracking their fertility. 

I have been moving up from my old school ways and starting to rely on technology for a lot of the sexual health stuff I discuss. It started with referring websites to letting women on the Nuvaring know that they have an ap for that. I figured this was a way for those with true organizational difficulty to keep track of their birth control.

Well I have decided to do more research into these fertility trackers. I am an ethnographic type of researcher so I simply joined a group of many women and have downloaded the Fertility Friend. There is actually more to it than expected. It does give an option to enter the cervical fluid, spotting, dates of intercourse, and temperature. If you take it seriously and add something everyday it could be really useful.
I think it also gives women a chance to realize that natural family planning is not simply marking your period on a calendar or just avoiding sex right before you think your period may come. (heehee...that one makes me laugh). Don't get me wrong- I do not support condom free sex unless you are willing to accept what ever choices follow. I do support avoiding getting pregnant when you are not ready.

So I'm going to use this thing. It means I can just put things into my phone without having to write it down. Give me about three months and we'll see how it goes...any suggestions send them my way: @msnicolesbits